There are few people who have had a background in negotiation, even if it is one of the most essential skills in business and in life itself. We are continuously negotiating – to obtain greater and better agreements in our favour. In my book “How I Do Business,” I took all my years of study and direct experience in negotiations and translated them into several basic components, breaking down what it takes to be a great negotiator and the mistakes that should be avoided.


Simply, the purpose of a negotiation is to maximize the attainment of your interests. You will never enter into a negotiation to getthe least you can, right? No, you will always want to get the most you can.

But at this point we can find ourselves with a paradox: to get the most out of what you want, you must also try to get the other person to get their interests. For me to get everything I want, I have to give you what you want. And this is the point where things get complicated. There is a way to get what you want and to give the other person what you want with little struggle. This is the power of negotiation.


First, it is important to understand the three components ofa negotiation:

Desire:  There must bea desire on both sides to start negotiating.

Agreement: You have to import the result, but you should not care too much.

There are no fixed rules: There will always be some rules, if for example you and I are negotiating for you to buy your car, surely we will be both dressed. This type of rules is understood. But, regarding the value of the car and how should we start negotiating? In this aspect there areno fixed rules.


The energetic negotiation works on some basic rules. First, it’s about adding, not subtracting. It’s about solving problems, not about discussing. Finally, we try to reformulate our discourse and empathize with thepoint of view of the person with whom we negotiate. Why are there so many people who think that negotiating is so difficult? A key concept is thedifference between position and interest.


Try to remember some negotiation in which you have felt frustrated. Maybe it was because you were negotiating about your position against their position and it took a competitive edge. Negotiations based on positions usually work in the following way: I say one thing and you cast yourself and defend your position. So I defend mine. And this is where our egoscome in, and where we begin to worry about who is right and who is wrong. Each one takes a position and says what he is willing or unwilling to do. Where can you go from here?

Instead of negotiating from your position, you should negotiate from your interest. What motivates you? That is what really matters.

The next time you have to negotiate, remember this: Your positions are your behaviour. Your interests are what motivate your behaviour. If you have not had a successful negotiation, it is probably because you have focused on positions. But entering into a negotiation and focusing on what your interests are and those of the person with whom you are negotiating, you can design a solution that does not require too much conflict. Things will go more smoothly, the options for everyone to satisfy their interests will be dramatically increased, resulting in a successful negotiation.

If you wish to become a good negotiator or become successful in any aspect of life, then Unleash The Power Within is the event that you must attend. Tony Robbins’ UPW 2019 is an event like no other where you get to understand and unleash your true self. Learn about the event by clicking here.

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